FIC: Not Starsky, by Helen W. (wneleh) (Broken Ties)

[wneleh.livejournal.com]

Title: Not Starsky
Author: Helen W. (wneleh)
Episode: Broken Ties (5x03) missing scenes
Rating: R for theme and remembered bigotry
Category: gen
Major Characters: John, Rodney, discussion of Ronon
Wordcount: ~800
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc. etc.
Summary: John's not Starsky, Ronon's not Hutch, Rodney's not Huggy Bear.

Part of the Season Five fic challenge.



Ronon keeps calling for me. He's stopped asking me to kill him, but I don't think he'd object, and I can barely stand it.

There's an episode of 'Starsky and Hutch'… how did it go? Hutch was addicted to something, probably heroin. And Starsky was detoxing him by himself, or maybe with some help from that black guy, their friend who owned the bar.

Hutch was crying and begging for drugs, and Starsky held him through the whole thing. I couldn't believe it. I'd never seen men do more than a handshake, and there was Hutch in Starsky's arms.

Yeah, now I remember. I was watching a rerun of that episode after school one day and Dave walked in and said, oh, what was it? Something like, "That show's so gay." And I'd already been feeling a little ashamed for Hutch, because I knew that he shouldn't be letting anyone see him like that, but I hadn't known there was a word for it.

"Gay?" I asked.

"Yeah," Dave said. "They're a couple of fags."

I didn't know what that meant either, but I knew that 'gay' and 'fag' had to be first-order bad words from the way Dave said them, and whatever they meant had to be pretty awful.

'Starsky and Hutch' stayed my favorite show for a couple of years. I liked the action parts best - how they worked as a team, and how they were better shots and better fighters than anyone else, most of the time, even the big guys. When they'd end up comforting each other - and that happened A LOT - I'd worry, though, because weren't they going to get in trouble?

I hope Dave's not such a bigot anymore - hell, he may be gay, for all I know. I really don't care, though I guess I hope he's happy, and not making other people miserable.

It's not like he made me develop a guy-touch phobia or anything. I let Ronon throw me around, I yank or swat at Rodney all the time. But it's like I have a three-motion vocabulary or something when it comes to guys. I just don't know how to do more.

Hell, I'm not Starsky. But I can at least go be with Ronon for a while, let him know he's not alone in this.

- - - - - - -

"How is he?" McKay asks as I come out. I saw him up in the observation area, so I guess he came down when he saw me start to leave.

This whole thing has hit him hard, and I wonder what his withdrawal a couple of years ago was like. God, I hope Carson was kind to him.

I shrug and keep walking. "He's going through hell, but at least he's quiet now," I say.

"It can't go on too much longer like this," McKay says, then he catches my arm and I let him pull me to a stop. "Why do you stand so far back from him?" he asks. "You don't really think he's going to hurt you, do you?"

"I don’t stand that far back," I say.

"Yes you do. You should be closer, talk to him or something. That's what I'm going to go do in a minute."

"Well, whatever," I say. "But I'm not Starsky, you know."

Rodney looks at me like I'm crazy, and score one for me, because bewildering him is one of the sources of joy in my life. Then I realize what I just said, and hope that Rodney lets it go…

But, of course not. Now he looks pissed off. "Yeah, yeah, not Starsky. Got it. But, Colonel, you might have noticed that Ronon's not Hutch."

"Yeah, so…" Time to redirect. "Don't tell me you actually watched American cop shows when you were a kid."

"I liked the car, okay? The Torino," he says. "But let's get back to the matter at hand. You're not Starsky. Nobody expects you to be Starsky; God knows I don't. Be yourself, okay? You're halfway competent when you try."

He walks back toward the isolation room, then turns when he gets to the door. "Just one more thing… if you *are* Starsky, Ronon and I get to split being Hutch, because there's no way I'm Huggy Bear."

No argument here!

- - - - - -

They've moved Ronon to the infirmary; he's going be fine, physically at least. He still feels like shit, though, and I can't imagine what's going through his head right now.

No, I can imagine what's going through his head, I just wish I couldn't.

If I was Starsky, I'd know what to do; I might even hold his hand or something. But, God, just no. And Ronon, yeah, I get what Rodney was saying - Ronon's not Hutch.

I bet he could use something to hold onto, though.

I think I'll go find him a really big knife.

* * * THE END * * *

Thanks, mashfanficchick, for the crash course in S&H!

All feedback welcomed, here, or to helenw@murphnet.org.

More fic at http://www.murphnet.org/fanfic

Comments

[scifigeek72.livejournal.com]

Ohhh very nice.

[wneleh.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

- Helen

[mashfanficchick.livejournal.com]

Thanks, mashfanficchick, for the crash course in S&H!

I aim to pimp please. :-)

And, in return, thanks for the crash-course into SGA: I may actually have to start watching the show now. (And you know Kimberly's going to kill you for managing in a one-shot fic what she couldn't manage in a week-and-a-half of full-on, hard-core pimping! *g*)

[wneleh.livejournal.com]

Sigh, the delights of SGA are a lot more subtle than S&H's. The only main character (including men and women both) who's at all touchy-feely is Ronon, and the other characters don't really know what to do with him. So we fans of smarm (a term that isn't really even used in SGA) hang onto a pat on the shoulder before a character goes to face almost certain death, and write lots of post-ep sex (or, in my case, post-ep I-think-I-like-you.)

That said, once you key into the language of SGA, there's an awful lot there; like with S&H, I think TPTB are doing a lot more than they realize.

- Helen

[laurie-ky.livejournal.com]

I really liked this story. I liked how you had John making a connection to the show and his introspection. How he's struggling to connect more with Ronan, but uncomfortable about being as open as Hutch and Starsky.
Your voices were right on for John and Rodney. Good Job.

Laurie

[wneleh.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

S&H, at least the way I watched it on Sunday, is like a drug, or too much sugar, or reading through a story to the good bits (broadly defined) for the smarm fan. Easy to O.D., and easy to be ruined for other things until your head clears.

- Helen

[erda-3.livejournal.com]

I totally loved this idea. John as Starsky! If only!

[wneleh.livejournal.com]

:-)

I'm doing the story-every-ep challenge this seaon; now I'm tempted to, if I hit a dry spot some week, write S&H into Atlantis.

- Helen

[cookiemom6067.livejournal.com]

That was SO JOHN - just so freaked out about touching (or even getting close to touching). Your Rodney is made of win.

[wneleh.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Rodney was great this episode. John I had big issues with, from the Teyla plot.

Actually, the whole Teyla-as-mom thing is really annoying me (details here (http://wneleh.livejournal.com/141742.html))... as a mom yourself, does any of her life seem the least bit realistic?

- Helen

Teyla's momhood

[cookiemom6067.livejournal.com]

I did wonder why everyone was rushing her - it didn't seem like she got even a lousy 6 weeks of maternity leave. Your point about co-sleeping I smiled at. Surely someone from a TRIBAL background would HAVE that in their culture. Americans, the Athosians ain't.

Part of me says that the have to give the baby the short shrift plotwise in order to have Teyla on the team as she has been. But, you are correct in saying that Teyla + Torren + Kanaan = Teyla NOT being on the team in the same way she has been. We aren't seeing much of the "life-changing" part of a profoundly life-changing event.

I'm honestly not sure how 24/7 being on the team is. Also not sure, from canon, what Teyla's job is, other than being on the team, except that she is on the "command" staff (judging from the red panels on her jacket).

Re: Teyla's momhood

[wneleh.livejournal.com]

I'm honestly not sure how 24/7 being on the team is.

What really got me was the scene where Teyla decides to go with John to rescue Ronon and so she turns and hands the baby to Woolsey. I think part of the point of that scene (along with making Woolsey look silly, which, sure, why not) was that Teyla, if she'd had her head in the right place (e.g., was fully on the team), wouldn't have been in that position.

Which means, no carrying her baby around w/o an entourage??

Sore point for me because, actually, WORK hasn't been a huge problem as a mom. I've been able to set my own hours, and my husband's schedule is flexible; so, while it's been a constant process of tweaking things so that they work, it hasn't been much of a source of anxiety.

What's been more annoying is people who, esp. when I had my first baby, expected me to be able to meet *their* needs in the way I had been - to still be able to be anywhere, at any time, and do anything, and not care how long it took. That's the territory I see John edging into; and, just, NO.

But I really don't think TPTB are thinking about this sort of thing!

[izhilzha.livejournal.com]

Aw. Nice addition to the episode; and I love that last line. Because...yeah. That's exactly what Ronon needs. :-)

[wneleh.livejournal.com]

:-)

So you're watching SGA now?!?! I'm thinking that's pretty new. I'd love to see your take on the characters some day.

- Helen

[springwoof.livejournal.com]

I liked the Starsky & Hutch metaphor.
And Rodney was cute: "I liked the car, okay? The Torino,"

[wneleh.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

- Helen